Understanding and Controlling Your Emotions

A quick guide to understanding yourself and others’ emotions.

How do people improve professionally?

Many believe this happens solely from accomplishments. Performance is important for individual growth, but it is not the only determinant of career growth.

A company is made up of various departments and individuals with each serving its own role. If one or two people make huge contributions and produce the majority of the company results, they appear as outliers.

So what determines upward trajectory outside performance?

Emotional intelligence (E.I.).

E.I. is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they’re feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people.

E.I. is composed of five elements:

1. Self-awareness
2. Self-regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social skills

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is understanding your emotions and how your emotions and actions affect the people around you. Great leaders understand their strengths and weaknesses and remain grounded even when surrounded by chaos. A few great ways to improve self-awareness are:

1. Keep a journal or medium for regular reflection.
2. Slow down and think.

Self-regulation

Self-regulation is all about staying in control over your emotions and reactions. Ways to improve self-regulation:

1. Understand your personal values (moral and ethical) and those you will not compromise.
2. Hold yourself accountable by admitting your mistakes and accepting the potential consequences.
3. Practice being calm with deep breathing exercises or by placing those strong emotions on the back burner until you can express them.

Motivation

Motivation consists of working towards your goals and holding your work to an extremely high standard. Every time you meet a challenge or fail, try to find something positive from the experience like a lesson learned or a connection created. The following are good ways to create and maintain motivation:

1. Re-examine why.
2. Know where your motivation starts and ends.
3. Be hopeful and optimistic when facing adverse circumstances.

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s situation to help develop, challenge, give constructive feedback, and listen to team members.

1. Put yourself in someone else’s position.
2. Pay attention to body language.
3. Respond to feelings.

Social Skills

Social skills are a combination of communication and how you carry yourself. It makes people feel welcomed to give both bad or good news.

1. De-escalate tense interactions.
2. Learn how to give praise when it is warranted.
3. Communication is direct but mindful of the recipient.

It is always important to understand your surroundings, not just what’s in front of you. Funnel vision can be detrimental to a business. Emotional intelligence is first focusing on yourself, then on the others around you.